Acquiring the courage to make aspirations a reality

My Journey

Everyone has a journey in life that is as unique to them as a fingerprint. For many people (myself included), the motivation to move towards what you aspire or dream about achieving, is often stifled by the fear of failure. Our own individualism is made up of many factors, such as genetics, family upbringing, personality traits, intelligence, maturity, curiosity, all the above and yes, the list goes on. But the one thing all of us have in common is the ability to decide on our future and act accordingly.

You know, when I reflect on my own journey, its only now that I question why I went sea fishing in the depths of winter to try and catch the illusive Atlantic Cod when the salt water on my rod tip was frozen solid!! The reward for the effort was obviously to catch fish (and hopefully the ultimate prize of an elusive Cod). Elusive you might ask well, it was the River Mersey in Liverpool and not the cleanest estuarine location in the UK but that said, the sea had been cleaned up (no more solid lumps of oil along the shoreline) and these fish were there.

This intrinsic desire to push myself against the elements is less of a mystery to me now as I’ve begun to question a lot of things that have brought me to this momentous point in my journey.

It has however, made me question why some people do things and others don’t? Why some people step outside of their comfort zone and others don’t? Why some people are more successful, and others aren’t? Why some people are more competitive and driven towards goal achievement?

Your Journey

Your ability to be motivated enough to move towards something you want, is often impacted by previous experiences which can be driven by what you now believe to be true, and your perception of how others may view your own performance, actions, results, and failures.

If these pressures and beliefs are strong enough, you may view the risks associated with action as too great to contemplate any action other than in-action. On the other hand, you may be driven to step out and expand the perimeter of your own boundaries of existence and head towards opportunity, because your experiences have given you added confidence and belief in what you can achieve.

This ‘to do’ or ‘not to do’ evaluation is deeply intrinsic to all of us as individuals, and most likely influenced by some of the elements I’ve mentioned earlier. At work you are paid for delivering a set of tasks and then use these payments to help establish a life for yourself with family, financial commitments, material things to make your life more secure, comfortable, and enjoyable. Some would say these are all good reasons for erring on the side of caution wherever possible!

Depending of course on what your journey and circumstances have been like, can have a significant effect on whether you have worked out what you want and the direction you need to be heading in, and how ambitious and driven you are, towards setting and achieving the goals that will help get you there.

In Retrospect

On the work and personal front, I’ve always felt that I was never in the right place and always seemed to fall into situations that really had no meaning or directional structure, leaving me with the feeling of searching for something but not really knowing what it was.

I’ve met people who have known exactly what they thought they wanted and have specialised in a particular field and that specialisation has taken them to where they wanted to be. With specialisation comes confidence, knowing what you know and the mastery you have gained along the way.

The question here could be whether specialisation and mastery makes you more prone to chasing opportunity or avoiding danger?

I have manoeuvred myself from one area of work to another trying to find a niche I could be happy in and in the process have become to a great extent, a ‘jack of all trades and master of none’, probably a little harsh on myself I hear you say (at least from those who know me).

On reflection though, my experience has prepared me for the journey I’m about to take simply because I now have broad scope and depth in key areas that compliment what I will be doing and that is Coaching and ‘Helping others to Succeed’.

I have not known with any surety until now (some 30 years on), where I was going to end up but now that I do, its satisfying to know that I’m ready to embark on that next stage of my journey with greater confidence and certainty.

It’s time once again for me to take on an exciting new challenge and step out of MY comfort zone

Your Comfort Zone

For many people though, the thought of stepping out of one’s comfort zone into the learning zone and potentially, into the panic zone (if we over stretch our capability) can be a debilitating constraint to following our dreams and aspirations.

Here, Senninger’s Learning Zone Model simply illustrates this concept. Within the learning zone there is growth opportunity where you gather confidence and begin to take charge of your own direction and set goals to help you progress a little further.

Any sort of action provides you with the impetus to realise an aspiration, which in turn, creates an opportunity, which grows in stature and opens numerous possibilities. But first, you must feel the fear!

The old saying that success breeds success, is a great foundation for getting started. One of the elements of your success at delivering results will be to always have your sights fixed firmly on the prize ahead. It’s one of the main motivating factors (amongst others) that will keep you going.

Building your confidence

An example, as an ex-tradesperson, one of the main attributes I learnt when given a job to complete, was to work out and visualise what the end deliverable looked like before I even started the job. So, working backwards from the end deliverable enables you to break down the challenge into manageable steps with each step having a deliverable and each deliverable a success point (so to speak).

As you pass each success point, your confidence grows and your ability to deliver the next task increases until the job is complete, and your confidence levels have grown exponentially. The comfort zone illustration (an adaption from Senninger’s learning zone model) illustrates this concept quite nicely.

Many people say (unfairly or not) that if you are comfortable where you are, there is a tendency for you to wait for opportunities to occur whereas, if you are a successful individual, you will take on and create opportunities that lead to achievement and your own personal success. Which camp are you in now?

Based on my own experience, I’d concur with this statement because for a lot of times, that is exactly what I’ve been doing (guilty as charged your honour).

Perceptions vs. mindset

As we get older, this challenge becomes more acute maybe because there is an expectation from others (at least in your own mind) that you should know better, be able to do better and therefore, any excuses for failing are not acceptable (no pressure of course!).

These feelings of expectation are for the most part, built around your own thoughts and the realisation is that thoughts are just that, thoughts! They are real only when you choose to make them so. Acknowledge them and take the plunge and as Susan Jeffers says in one of her many books, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’.

Depending on how your own journey has panned out and your willingness to explore what maybe holding you back, often determines what your next steps are to unlocking your ability to move forward, unless of course you consciously decide to challenge that mindset and go for it.

Your solution

So where am I going with this I hear you ask, well from a coaching perspective, the being ‘Motivated to Move’ model (Gribben, 2016), is a coaching tool designed for coaching in circumstances where you are unsure how to move forward with confidence to take on an opportunity and achieve what you want, while others around you, push on and grab success.

The motivated to move model illustrates the relationship between the comfort zone (where you are potentially entrenched now), the available opportunities, and the ever-present dangers should you decide to go for it or not.

The motivated to move model is best used in coaching when you want to become more focused on the opportunities available to you, when you want action and achievement, even though you are fearful of the risks and consequence of your actions that you believe maybe holding you back.

Being coached using the motivated to move model helps you acquire a better understanding of why you can take action and why you should not.

Being motivated to move is not about pushing through your fears and the risks you are facing but more about the effort you make in establishing a comprehensive list of reasons for pursuing the opportunity despite the dangers involved.

Your motivation to move!

My coaching process and the use of the motivated to move model and others, will help you identify and weigh up the many reasons for and against before deciding to act, leaving your comfort zone behind, and moving forward to achieve what you want.

If you want to feal the fear and grow with confidence then my coaching program will be the right experience for you.

I hope you have found this blog interesting and the concepts (although not new), inspiring enough for you to re-consider your normal approach and try something different. The use of the motivated to move model through a coaching scenario, will certainly provide you with a new approach to pursuing the Opportunity instead of avoiding the Danger and moving back into your Comfort Zone to soon.

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