Strengths Nurture Stability

Following on from my previous blog ‘Intelligence Decides – Emotions Drive’, I talked about how as a new person entering the workplace, ‘culture’ and building ‘relationships’ were the first experiences and challenges to be overcome, whether joining an organisation for the first time in our working life, or at every new organisation thereafter. I thought I’d continue the discussion and build on those experiences with the view to gradually uncovering over time, what the development journey towards being a leader might entail as we transition into and through the leadership pipeline.

So, as ‘the new kid on the block’, we’ve entered the workplace and now find ourselves settling into our new environment. We are beginning to get the hang of how things work, whose who in the zoo (so to speak) with a greater sense of who we are and our potential to do more. We are inquisitive!

Becoming emersed in our own workplace transition often invokes two things. One is, we begin to realise that there are aspects of our work that we actually enjoy doing more than others and in fact, complete these tasks better than others. The second thing we notice, is that what we are good at, is often recognised by others as a strength. Something that others come to rely on us to deliver as preference over someone else (usually this is what gets you promoted down the track but that’s a topic for another blog)!

These strengths may not be associated with just the result of our task delivery but also how that delivery has occurred. A personal aspect of who we are that is often unrecognised by us in our early stages of development.

This recognition from others and eventually ourselves, can have a flow on effect to our self-confidence and belief in what we are capable of. From a positive perspective, it can make us feel fantastic and more communicative and interactive as we discuss those experiences with others, forging stronger and broader relationships both in and out of work.

Conversely, the opposite can happen (and continues to be so for all of us) where things don’t go according to plan, and we are faced with setbacks and challenges that can erode our belief in what we are capable of. Over time, this can be damaging to our self-esteem if the negatives continuously override the positives and are subsequently reinforced as such, by others.

So, with the wisdom of past experience and hindsight (such a wonderful virtue I have to say), what do we think can be done differently to provide us with a solid platform for successfully dealing with setbacks and challenges when our ‘natural’ approach in such cases, is often emotional and counterintuitive? Keeping in mind that emotion can swing both ways, such as feeling euphoric and believing we are actually better than what we are. How many times have you overreached on the back of a success only to be brought back down to earth (with no cushion I might add) with a resounding disappointment? I know I have, countless times.

So, I will endeavour to insert some rationale around the question of taking a different approach to managing ourselves in times of challenge and upset. Often, we dive in to fixing a problem by going to the source, an area where we perceive things to be not working and the cause of our unsatisfactory outcomes. As an example, we might listen to meditation music when we feel anxious or nervous or revisit the gym when we realise our physical shape is not quite where we need it to be.

But what if going to the source, the place from which you typically ‘fix the problem’, is actually your area of strength and not your area of perceived improvement? How does that work I hear you say? Well, Stephen Gribben (2016. P20), discusses how starting from a position of strength provides an individual or team with a more consistent approach to doing “things in which they normally do not excel”. He highlights three areas of development that are intrinsic to us all which are physical, emotional and psychological in nature (the three legs of the stool). When we are challenged, the legs of our own stool begin to loosen, and we wobble!

In doing so, this can actually have a negative impact on the other legs of the stool that have now become loose, the ones we inadvertently depend upon. I say inadvertently because often we are not aware of this from the start. We do what we’ve always done and usually end up with the same ‘mouse on the wheel’ result.

So, the ‘Three legs of the Stool’ model developed by Stephen is about knowing which of the loose legs of your wobbly stool do you tighten first to ensure your stool remains a balanced and solid platform from which to operate from when challenged (given that we are all different)?

As I sat back in my chair (four legs of course) and thought about that for a moment, I must admit I struggled with this until I established some context around how the three legs of my stool might play an integral role in the challenges I’m often faced with? It became clear that the tightening order of my three-legged stool would be as follows: physical (my strength), emotional and psychological (my area of improvement). By the way Stephen emphasizes that the emotional leg is usually always the second leg to tighten!

So, allow me to elaborate before you have a go at working out what yours might be!

For me it seems that my strengths are, seeing the big picture and visualising the journey. Creating new ideas with sufficient attention to detail. Having the tenacity to not give in and to finish the job. My authenticity, charisma and humour which draws people to follow me. Doing the doing to set the journey momentum for others to take up the challenge and lead from the front.

As to what makes them strengths can be demonstrated by how others interact with me, I guess. I’ve noticed that I seem to be able to get things done through others with a certain amount of discretionary effort thrown in. People seem to want to follow me and step up, including coming to me for advice, assistance and support. Maybe i’ve established and element of respect over time!

And for those who know me, feel free to let me know what you think my strengths are. I promise I won’t get upset.

With these reflections now on the table, I believe tightening my Physical leg first, supports what i’m good at by ensuring that I’m sleeping and eating well, making the effort to look my best, interacting with people, paddling my ocean ski and talking concerns and ideas through with close friends and colleagues. When this occurs, my emotional leg tightens quicker because I’m feeling good resulting from my ‘physical’ activities and knowing what i’m good at, will be sustained and hopefully improved.

I for one don’t propose to be an expert on the topic of leadership, but like a lot of people who have studied at university or have been exposed to the leadership discipline (and it is a very complex discipline), we understand through experience and time, what works, what doesn’t and why. We also gain a greater appreciation of the levels of leadership and their complexities, as we move beyond the pipeline and into the political landscape, where leaders of ideology, countries, ethnicity and denominations have over the millennium, conquered, created, endured, failed and risen again to establish what we have today.

The ‘Silk Roads’ by Peter Frankopan I believe emphasises this, and once you’ve read it as I have (and thoroughly enjoyed it), maybe you’ll conclude that our historical underlying fundamentals have not changed in comparison to what is happening in today’s global landscape!

You know, as I’ve written this blog, I’ve realised that incorporating these interestingly simple but powerful models of self-development into our own leadership journey is invaluable. To do so ourselves, whether in positions of management, leadership, influence, or starting out as the ‘new kid on the block’, enables all of us to effectively develop ourselves and the emerging leaders and teams they lead, with concepts and practices that are simple, powerful and all encompassing (nuts & bolts really).

Sort of puts a new spin on ‘playing to your strengths’ don’t you think?

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